An example of a poorly constructed bomb.
Ok theres a couple of rules i would put in place if i was a bad guy,that commonly get commonly get screwed up in movies. If the CIA or any security service is reading this having picked up on the word bomb, please note that im just applying a little common sense here, and i am not in fact a master terrorist… of course, thats what they all say.As a baddie I would send a memo to my entire evil organisation. My email to my evil henchmen would read as follows:
It has come to my attention that there are some bad practices in our organisation which I feel need to be recified immediately in order to reduce business risk and improve profitability.
Employees are reminded of the non disclosure agreement they signed upon entering employment with our company. Our master plan to take over the world is considered company confidential, and as such should not be shared with anyone. This includes Friends, family and ESPECIALLY members of the British Secret Service.
Do not discuss operational matters over phone, email or any other electronic communication device. Avoid meeting in public places.
Please refrain from utilising a digital display with a countdown timer (or any other visual display). If you feel this rule stifles your creativity and feel you must use a timer then please do not count down to zero – try counting down to 35:21 for example, if the explosion doesnt get the good guys then the suprise will.
Please avoid using a red and green wire. make all wires the same colour.
Please avoid putting lights on your bomb or any audio devices.
incorporate motion sensors, audio sensors and a geiger counter
no exposed wires – put the whole device in a plastic box.
Please avoid the use of nuclear devices as its bad for the environment.
Ettiquette & Grooming
Whist in general it is considered rude to not introduce yourself, when you meet James Bond, please, just shoot him.
Beards are no longer mandatory in the organisation, nor is either the black or white dress code. Introduce some colour into your wardrobe. NO WHITE SUITS.
Please note we are tollerant of all religions and you dont have to be muslim to join our organisation.
Killing Good Guys
Whilst we encourage imaginative innovative ways of killing good guys, please do not leave your machinery unnattended during its operation. Ensure the good guys are dead.
Quick simple dispatch mechanisms are preferred.
Please remember bullets go through things, and be sure to practice aiming your weaponry.
If you shoot or maim a good guy and hes left lying on the floor – put a couple of extra bullets in him to be sure. Cost of ammunition will be re-embursed
When shooting good guys please aim for the head rather that the kevlar protected areas of the body.
Please avoid using words like bomb. try using codewords, such as chocolate.
Avoid offensive and descriptive nicknames. Badass is not a good name for a henchman – consider Eugene.
Your continued good work and evilness is appreciated, and i look forward to meeting you all at the annual wine and cheese doodle night.
The Dark Overlord.
..As an afterthought, i wonder if Paul Mccartney is on a terrorist watchlist… i mean how does the frogsong go? bomb bomb bomb… bomb bomb bomb… bomb…bomb bomb bomb bomb.