Some People Wind Me Up By Breathing

Ok, Firstly it was meant as a joke – in point of fact I am not easy to wind up, if i was Glen and I wouldn’t be such good friends. Glen and I are constantly taking the piss out of each other, and its all good fun; I am pretty easy going on the most part. Its true i don’t have a huge amount of tolerance for people doing a bad job but beyond that… no problems!

So one of the comments attached to my Steve Jobs posting was :

Well then they’d better stop breathing…but really… what for?
Still I think you look at things from the wrong prespective here. They are not wrong they are not right…they simply exist. As you. Accept that and you will be happier and no wind will blow you up.

Hej Owen! I am not a guru here I just try to see things in a better manner (If I can)…so don’ t take this as a critic, more as a thought from a friend that really cares for every single sorrow you might have.

And i have to admit it didn’t annoy me it made me laugh. Firstly because as i said, i wasn’t serious – if i disliked someone enough to not want them to breath the last thing i would do is blog about it. Because if that was the sort of person who is litigious i could get into trouble maybe, or if that person was found floating face down with an axe in their back people may start asking what i am using to chop my firewood.

Secondly stating things are not wrong and not right but simply exist is funny. Right and wrong are matters of perspective, and i understand the sentiment, but it just doesn’t work – if everyone thought that then the world would indeed be populated by hippies, and would be pretty damn boring. If Glen agreed with everything i said all the time and we didn’t have a constant sparring match going, he wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. Simply existing sounds boring as hell. Im not an anarchist at all but i do believe if you are not challenged in life you are not living.

Imagine if superman had said that to the other kryptonians in superman two, when General Zod came down to earth to conquer it – he would have just sat there and watched the chaos and destruction, and that would be ok – as long as nobody fucked with his Zen.

Letting everyone just exist may be a cool idea if your living in a country where you may never see anyone, but living in a world where “They are not wrong they are not right…they simply exist. ” would never work in organized society – everyone would get killed at the first zebra crossing.

For the record I’m pretty happy in life – its good. I don’t need to run up some mountain to find the answer to inner peace: inner peace is different things to different people. I feel at one with the world after a good pint of bitter.

Also, i would hope that none of my friends care about every sorrow I have, because in general I don’t….when i get annoyed it passes in 5 minutes and i move on. I don’t dwell. I know the person that wrote that comment meant no bad, nor do I in my response, but i am sorry i am not ready to go over to the light side any time soon, its far too nice where i am already.

 

Steve Jobs resigns as CEO of Apple.

That’s the news of today. You can read about it just about everywhere, but I for one am not really worried about this. Firstly because he’s not leaving the company – he’s requested to stay as chairman of the board. Secondly becuase he named he’s successor, the guy who is acting as the Chief Operating Officer who’s been fairly involved in apple for over 10 years now (Tim Cook). Of course just because he named Tim Cook doesn’t necessarily mean he will get the job. We will just have to see.

Steve jobs is extraordinary, but apple isn’t only one person – it’s a team of extraordinary people. I would be very surprised if Steve didn’t continue to have a lot of influence in the running of “his” company. They would be crazy to ignore him.

He’s done a clever thing, quitting while the company is ahead and its pretty much going to give him a legendary status as a CEO.

Gosh, I sound like an apple fanboy, but thats only partially so – there are many things i do like about apple and their attention to the user experience, but there are also many things i don’t like. In some ways they could definitely improve in customer service.

Update: Tim Was named CEO and replied:

Team:
I am looking for ward to the amazing opportunity of serving as CEO of the most innovative company in the world. Joining Apple was the best decision I’ve ever made and it’s been the privilege of a life time to work for Apple and Steve for over 13 years. I share Steve’s opti mism for Apple’s bright future.

Steve has been an incredible leader and men tor to me, as well as to the entire executive team and our amazing employees. We are really looking forward to Steve’s ongoing guidance and inspiration as our Chairman.

I want you to be confident that Apple is not going to change. I cherish and cele brate Apple’s unique principles and val ues. Steve built a company and culture that is unlike any other in the world and we are going to stay true to that-it is in our DNA. We are going to continue to make the best products in the world that delight our customers and make our employees incredibly proud of what they do.

I love Apple and I am looking for ward to diving into my new role. All of the incredible support from the Board, the executive team and many of you has been inspiring. I am confident our best years lie ahead of us and that together we will continue to make Apple the magical place that it is.
Tim

Real Programmers

This has been around since the dawn of time. Real Programmer humour.
  • Don’t eat quiche. They don’t even know how to spell quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke, and palate-scorching Szechwan food.
  • Don’t write applications programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Applications programs are for dullards who can’t do systems programming.
  • Don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
  • Don’t draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate’s form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much it did for them.
  • Don’t use COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers.
  • Don’t use FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks, pipe stress freaks, and crystallography weenies. They get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulation.
  • Don’t use LOGO. In fact, no programmer uses LOGO after reaching puberty.
  • Don’t use APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line.
  • Don’t use LISP. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code.
  • Don’t use Pascal, BLISS, Ada, or any of those sissy-pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is a crutch for people with weak memories.
  • Never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 a.m., it’s because they were up all night.
  • Don’t play tennis or any other sport that requires a change of clothes. Mountain climbing is OK though, and real programmers often wear climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
  • Don’t like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the Chief Programmer.
  • Have no use for managers. Managers are a necessary evil. Managers are for dealing with personal bozos, bean counters, senior planners, and other mental defectives.
  • Don’t drive clapped out Mavericks. They prefer BMWs, Lincolns, or pick-up trucks with floor shifts. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded.
  • Like vending machine popcorn. Coders pop it in the microwave oven.
  • Real programmers use the heat given off by the CPU. They can tell what job is running just by listening to the rate the corn is popping.
  • Know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every real program. Puppy architects won’t allow execute instructions to address another execute as the target instruction. Real programmers despise such petty restrictions.
  • Don’t bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn’t sell it they don’t eat it. Vending machines don’t sell quiche.

Apple TV

I don’t have an apple TV. I nearly brought the first generation version at one point but the movie service was non existent so it didn’t seem to be worth getting – At some point in the future i may do something about it but my 3D TV has DNLA so streaming from the mac to it is fairly simple any way. I can subscribe to movies via something like voddler.

My parents do have Apple TV in the UK – The movie subscription service is pretty awesome there, although they have the first generation machine which has been bugging me since i arrived in the UK last week. I got here, upgraded my dads mac to Lion and went to Lakeside today to buy him an new Apple TV 2. It has to be said i did have some ulterior motives kind of – i wanted to be able to stream from airplay straight to the tv so i could watch Game of Thrones in the living room.

So job done – i brought the new box, added it to the wi fi, entered my dads apple id and everything kicked into life perfectly. I was then able to stream youtube/video/music with no effort at all. I have to admit its all pretty cool.

As a side note i also brought myself a HDMI adaptor at the same time, its not quite the same, but until apple do something proper in Sweden i will make do.

120

OK i heard that in some of the more geeky circles 120 is the new LOL! The logic behind this is stupid stupid stupid and highly annoying- it goes this way

LOL! looks a bit like 101!

101 in binary is 5. – so 101! is like 5!.

5! in math is 5 Factorial –

5! = 5×4×3×2×1 = 120

Therefore LOL! = 120. now technically 120 is one less character that LOL! but as i never put the exclamation mark on when i type LOL it doesn’t save me time at all – in fact 120 is more work than typing LOL because the gap between the 12 and the 0 is huge. but the LOL are adjacent characters which you can type really fast.

Ive therefore come to the conclusion that 120 as the new LOL is fucking stupid. I use a rude word there because its really annoyed me that anyone could be so cryptic without logic or sense. i mean for christ sake it could just as easily have been the other way up – try this out:

if you look at LOL! upside own you get !707.

! is the logical NOT operator,  707 in binary is 1011000011.

!1011000011 = 0100111100

Which in decimal is 632. Thats far more appropriate

I mean what kind of self respecting geek would ever dirty themselves with factorials…. i will tell you what kind of geek … math geeks. See if you can work this out:

Computer Geek != Math Geek.

632

Game Of Thrones

Emilia Clarke - Game of Thrones

Ok Glen came up with two great ideas:

1. Wine and cheese doodles – they go great together – I was drinking red wine, and I’m not normally a fan of them but in this case it works. I know theres a chemistry reason for this, and i once attended a wine course where they explained all this – the course was in swedish though, which i understood but didn’t really memorize.

2. Game of Thrones. I wasn’t so sure i would like this, but i have caught an episode at glens place, and caught a few scenes of it on TV – I recorded it recently and decided to watch it start to finish. I took my time getting round to this because it had a lot of nakedness, and anything that has that much nakedness i just assumed would have a fairly weak plot line. I admit i was wrong. its not exactly the sort of thing you want to watch on the tube on the way into work though – theres enough nakedness for anyone to sitting beside you on the train to give you disapproving looks. Didn’t stop me watching it mind.

The TV series had some great actors in it – (including Sean Bean, Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey). Season 1 was awesome and i can’t wait for season two – which probably won’t be here until next year.I brought the book and will read that while I’m in the UK. My favorite character had to be the dwarf.

If heaven exists – does it have fast internet connectivity?

OK, i am resisting making any jokes about the cloud here, but heres a line in the old film Time Bandits that really makes you think – To quote Evil “God Doesn’t care about digital watches”. It was perhaps a subtle statement on society that evil should be a advocate of technology. Is the internet evil? Another TV show said “if you were to take all the porn off the internet you would be left with one page entitled “Bring back the porn”.  The internet has had a profound effect on society which i have spoke about a couple of times before -Talking about Chat and Dating in the 21st Century as i find it interesting the effects that the net has on our lives. 3D technology is the next big thing, and you can’t help but wonder, are we heading in to a world thats something like cyberpunk or the matrix?

The net is also fairly lawless still, although much effort has gone into tidying it up. I spoke a little about the rioting in the UK and discipline, and sometimes i can’t help but feel the whole freedom of speech thing is partially to blame for many things. I mean london has over 220000 cameras in there – you don’t think about them, they are just there – whist technically its an invasion of privacy who are the people that are most concerned about privacy? it occurs to me the people that would be most upset about being put onto a DNA database are probably the ones that should be there.

How can it get to a situation where hackers groups exist like they do today? I have a little bit of a systems security background, and i have to admit i was angered by the hacking group that released all that sensitive information they had gained from law enforcement. Its irresponsible to attack the people that are trying to protect society on a whole, if people have problems with the way the governments of the world are run the net can be a powerful tool for people to be heard – but to release sensitive information that could put people into harms way is an act of terrorism. People have the right to privacy, and for advertisers not to use their information – Facebook should behave – but theres not really an excuse for lawless intrusions into peoples cyber homes.people have rights, and should be protected from harm, but are liberalists of the internet really protecting people or causing harm to society in the long run?

I like the net, i like social networking, i like some of the positive things it brings – wikipedia is totally awesome and the power google brings to our lives cannot be underestimated. Does this mean i am going to hell? Will heaven have the internet?

Visiting the UK

Thursday I am flying back to the UK and I am quite looking forward to it. It feels like ages since I saw my family there. I know there’s a lot of concern about looting but that’s not going to be an issue for me. The biggest problem is too much to do and too little time to do it. I haven’t really told anyone I am coming so I will have to improvise things, which is pretty much what I do all the time anyway.I think that I don’t have too much more flying around to do for the rest of the year beyond maybe a few trips to Finland. I know I have a lot to get done with work before Thursday. I’m looking forward to fish and chips!

This week has been exhausting I am really needing time off I think. Often it gets busy but there have been high pressure things going on and tight deadlines; I know I need to redefine my job but I don’t know how I want to do that.

Government Sanctioned Spankings

I was kind of impressed by how much attention my message about the UK riots got – 38 page views which was a bit surprising – I also had two people actually press the like button, and 3 different people feel passionately enough to comment on it. Well in point of fact quite a few other people commented and I didn’t approve – I generated quite a bit of interest in government run spank camps from the older generation.

It made me think about psychology a little and why it is that some girls love to be spanked, is it because the feel naughty and that it’s reaffirming the fact? Do they just enjoy the sensation of burning buttocks? Is it because they feel that are in some way being dominated and somehow giving up control? Feel free to comment!

These are not questions that keep me up at night. I did a google search on spanking and didn’t get the answers I was looking for.

Chaos In The UK

OK anyone who thinks that the current issues in the UK are really about some guy getting shot is mad. Sure its sad, but its not the first time and wont be the last – I think most likely there are a few contributors to the chaos. The guy getting shot was just a match that lit a petrol bomb.People are unhappy with the government – this much is true. But the looting of shops, the anarchy are just criminal – theres no excuse – whatever your reason if you take stuff that doesnt belong to you or you vandalise – your a criminal – becuase it does nothing to help either the unrest with the politics and it doesnt help the poor bugger that got shot.

theres an underlying more troubling aspect to this though – listening to the bbc news this morning many of the looters were pretty much teens. There is no fear of authority – they dont care about police or government, and they have no respect at all – and this needs to be dealt with.

It seems as if the UK government and the whole of society has become too soft. It seems that so much focus has been put on the rights of the individual, that society has suffered and this needs to be redressed. Some harsh decisons need to be made. If i was running the UK there are a few things i would consider and i know they are extreme but –

  1. Using the military to back up the police – implement martial law – ok its a bit rough to do this.
  2. Lower the age of criminal prosecution to 10. Maybe its a bit low but then by the age of 10 if you dont know right or wrong your not normal. failing that – make parents prosecutable for their children (along side the kids).
  3. Legalise spanking! Kids need discipline and whilst spanking kids is a bad idea in the long term there are a lot of people out there that need to be put into place now. you have to be careful in how you implement this one. LOL, I just had a thought of government run spank camps – physically hurting people that perform crimes.
  4. Toughen prison sentances. ok theres prison overcrowding but it needs to be done… maybe we should use australia again… he he he.

There has to be respect in society or society cannot function at all.

Matt made a recent comment thats probably a bit right – im getting soft in my old age – talking about feelings so much etc… ive resisted the temptation to suggest bringing back the death sentance, or torchure.

Law. Order. Discipline. Respect.

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