Random Chatting

I had a few minutes to kill the other day, and nobody was online so i thought i would try a random chat with Omegle – what occured was quite funny. Omegle is completely random and anonymous – you dont know if you are going to talk to a guy or a girl or anything – and to be honest i didnt care – but it was funny! Ive not really chatted to random people online for ages – ASL used to be the standard first question – Age Sex Location – its basically just to give a very brief overview of a person – i mean it doesnt tell you much – it seems though times have changed!

Stranger: hi

You: hi there

Stranger: …..

You: i suppose i should be doing the ASL thing

You: its been ages since i tried chat

Stranger: NO

Stranger: DONT HIT ON ME

You: lol. does that imply i am hitting on u?

You: it never used to

Stranger: YES

You: i dont even know what sex you are so that would be silly

Stranger: ASL IS HITTING ON SOMEONE

Stranger: IM A TRANNY

You: thats kind of funny – that ASL is seen that way

Stranger: WHO HAS A FOOT FETISH

You: i mean its just a group of questions

Stranger: AND LICKS FEET

Stranger: THE END

You: good for you

…i dont think i will be trying Omegle again! I then thought i would try yahoo chat rooms – because i havent been near them recently either – so i entered a computer chat room, and this is what i saw:

Hey i’m a cute babe i love to check out my new pictures at <URL REMOVED>

bayhonan_annmarieanyone want2 chat with a hot fem?
Leftchaab.mohsen has left the chat.
Leftreda.muhammad48 has left the chat.
isabella61ax5d4xHi I am a perfect school girl i love to go to my profile at <URL REMOVED>
Leftziadbadr2015 has left the chat.

I watched the computer room for about 3 minutes – It seems the world of chat has been turned into a meat market!

My Enneagram – I am type 8 with subtype 7.

This is my Enneagram – you can take the test here. I thought that i should post the results as i found them quite interesting – feel free to vote or comment!

Taking charge, because they don’t want to be controlled

Enneagram type 8 - The ChallengerPeople of this personality type are essentially unwilling to be controlled, either by others or by their circumstances; they fully intend to be masters of their fate. Eights are strong willed, decisive, practical, tough minded and energetic. They also tend to be domineering; their unwillingness to be controlled by others frequently manifests in the need to control others instead. When healthy, this tendency is kept under check, but the tendency is always there, nevertheless, and can assume a central role in the Eight’s interpersonal relationships.

Eights generally have powerful instincts and strong physical appetites which they indulge without feelings of shame or guilt. They want a lot out of life and feel fully prepared to go out and get it. They need to be financially independent and often have a hard time working for anyone. This sometimes necessitates that the Eight opt out of the system entirely, assuming something of an outlaw mentality. Most Eights however, find a way to be financially independent while making their peace with society, but they always retain an uneasy association with any hierarchical relationship that sees the Eight in any position other than the top position.

Eights have a hard time lowering their defenses in intimate relationships. Intimacy involves emotional vulnerability and such vulnerability is one of the Eight’s deepest fears. Betrayal of any sort is absolutely intolerable and can provoke a powerful response on the part of the violated Eight. Intimate relationships are frequently the arena in which an Eight’s control issues are most obviously played out and questions of trust assume a pivotal position. Eights often have a sentimental side that they don’t even show to their intimates, such is their fear of vulnerability. But, while trust does not come easily to an Eight, when an Eight does take someone into the inner sanctum, they find a steadfast ally and stalwart friend. The Eight’s powerful protective instincts are called into play when it comes to the defense of family and friends, and Eights are frequently generous to a fault in providing for those under their care.

Eights are prone to anger. When severely provoked, or when the personality is unbalanced, bouts of anger can turn into rages. Unhealthy Eights are frankly agressive and when pushed, can resort to violence. Such Eights enjoy intimidating others whom they see as “weak” and feel little compunction about walking over anyone who stands in their way. They can be crude, brutal and dangerous.

Female Eights are far more likely to mistype than male Eights, as many of the traits typical to the type Eight personality have been discouraged in females. For the most part, however, it is other types who mistake themselves for Eights. This is especially common in male counterphobic Sixeswho fail to recognize that their agression is a cover for a very deep seated anxiety. Sevens too, are prone to mistype as Eights, but Sevens lack the intensity of focus typical of the type Eight, and while both Sevens and Eights have high energy personalities, Eights have a physically based energy whereas the Seven’s energetic pattern has a nervous, mental quality to it.

Enneagram Type 7 – The Enthusiast

Pleasure seekers and planners, in search of distraction

Enneagram type 7 - The EnthusiastPeople of this personality type are essentially concerned that their lives be an exciting adventure. Sevens are future oriented, restless people who are generally convinced that something better is just around the corner. They are quick thinkers who have a great deal of energy and who make lots of plans. They tend to be extroverted, multi-talented, creative and open minded. They are enthusiasts who enjoy the pleasures of the senses and who don’t believe in any form of self-denial.

Sevens are practical people who have multiple skills. They know how to network and to promote themselves and their interests. They often have an entrepreneurial spirit and are able to convey their enthusiasm to those with whom they come in contact. When they are able to focus their talents, they are often highly successful. Focusing does not always come easily for Sevens, however. Their tendency to believe that something better awaits them, makes them reluctant to narrow down their options or to pursue their aims with true devotion.

The central problem for Sevens is that their pursuit of pleasure is compulsive. Sevens are fear types who are specifically afraid of the power of negative states of mind. These they avoid by seeking distractions in the external environment: by multi-tasking, by keeping their options open, by engaging in stimulation seeking of all kinds. For this reason, Sevens are more prone than most to addictions of all sorts, whether it be to shopping, gambling, drugs or whatever.

Sevens usually have a high opinion of themselves and their talents; they tend to focus on their strengths and virtues and to downplay their flaws and vices. They are often a bit self-centered which manifests in an unfounded feeling of entitlement. As Sevens don’t want to confront their own darker emotions, they also have difficulty acknowledging the pain that others experience, so that they sometimes have a hard time seeing the reality of other people. The extent of the Seven’s flight from negative emotions is really a measure of the Seven’s mental health; the more that the Seven flees from them, the more their strength grows and the more likely they are to erupt into consciousness in the form of an anxiety disorder or a severe depressive episode.

As they are outward looking and not especially prone to introspection, it is not uncommon for Sevens to mistype themselves. Sometimes they mistype as Eights, as Sevens too can be domineering, especially if Eight is the dominant wing. But Eights are not anxious and they lack the quick, mental energy that is charateristic of the Seven. Sevens can easily mistype as Threes, but Threes are much more single minded than Sevens and don’t suffer from the desire to keep all options open. Surprisingly, Sevens can mistype as Fours. When they recognize the disparity between the optimistic, fun loving persona that they project to the world and their own, often anxious internal mental states, they can confuse their pain with the melancholia of type Four. Sevens are in flight from this pain however, whereas Fours often cultivate their negative mental states.

Chatup lines

There are a lot of really cheesy chat up lines out there and I’ve heard a few though I’ve never actually used one on a girl – it just seems wrong to me to go fishing for s someone with a sentence. I can’t help but wonder if there are actually people out there that rely on such things, but then there are whole self help guides dedicated to getting women – I’ve seen them float round, and scanned the pages of one in a bookshop once (no honest, i didn’t buy it!). You will have to forgive me if i am wrong but everything i saw in them was really common sense – don’t smell bad, have confidence, engage in conversation etc. There may be more of it than that but to be honest I’ve never focused on meeting women, it just sort of happened at points in my past. On the contrary i was useless when it came to meeting women and i wanted to. i found it easy enough to walk into a group of girls and engage them all in conversation but i just didn’t have the confidence. I remember there was a nightclub near where i was brought up – PZAZ. Every time i went there was a reminder of how unpopular i am.

I kind of associate guys that use chat up lines with the sort of guys that ask girls if they are horny in internet chat sites – Unwilling to invest time in getting to know an individual and engage in real conversation, and just playing the statistics. odds are if you ask enough girls one will say yes. Maybe thats wrong of me.

So here are the chat up lines that stuck in my mind as being either funny or extremely cheesy – i wouldn’t ever use a single one of them

  • Ive lost my telephone number, can i borrow yours?
  • Get your coat, you’ve pulled
  • Didn’t we go to different schools together
  • if I told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me
  • Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  • If i was in charge of the alphabet i would put I and U together.
  • If you’ve lost your virginity can i have the box it came in?
  • You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute?
  • didn’t we go to different schools together?
  • If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • I have 3 months to live.Hey let’s go fuck and do the talking later.

 

Dance like nobody is watching

A friend sent this to me yesterday – I think it’s quite funny how some people can just have no self conscience when it comes to filming in public, there are many people  Out there dancing like nobody is watching. I thought this video was pretty cool except for the bit where she gets into the trolly – that breaks from the flow of it. One of the more oopular video bloggers, an American who goes by the name of iJustine, was reviewed about this and said you just do it, and after a while it gets easier. I am yet to decide if this is something admirable or completely mad. I really do like the music though.
 
 

Love

Love is such a small word, but is soo complex a subject because there are soo many miscomprehensions surrounding it.

Wars have been thought over love, crimes performed in the name of love, songs have been sung. So many relationships turn into a routine were the words i love you are blurted out without any thought; the meaning lost, it can so easily become a ritual.

So what is love? soo many definitions exist out there, some romantic some primal. So many people confuse lust and passion with love. that feeling of adrenaline you feel when you meet someone new? is that love? is love really all you need? its such an abused word i find myself often reluctant to use it.

To me the definition of  love isnt that complex – love is derriving pleasure from pleasing another – it is being willing to give, to connect. it is being a a true freind, a soulmate, being able to completely trust with your partner and rely on them.

Love is even more than that, although i think that my defininion isnt bad from a technical standpoint. Its a feeling – almost undefinable – a bond. Sometimes people touch you in ways that its hard to explain – and i touched on this when i blogged on friendship – sometimes people touch your lives the mark they leave on your heart will never dissapear, like that first footprint on the moon – changing it forever. love is that feeling of relief you get when you hold the one you care for in your arms.

it has very little to do with physical prescence – love transcends that and Love is not always a good thing though – for some love can burn and hurt intensely – the pain of not being able to be with the one you love is a cruel unrelenting pain.

As i look up at the stars i smile with a serene happiness – remembering all those people i have met in life, some who are still here, and some who are gone forever – i can feel where people have touched my soul, and made me the person i am today.

I think its worth sometimes stopping, feeling, and  thinking when you whisper the words “i love you” … exactly what they mean.

Dating in the 21st Century

I saw a documentary the other day on dating and couldnt help but be a bit surprised – its quite sad the way things seem to be going these days. There was a reporter who followed different single women who were trying to find a life partner. A quick summary of some of the people:

  • Person 1 – Was a 16 year old girl. For dating apparently these days what you do is go to the local shopping mall. Then a friend makes sure your name is said out loud, and the idea is the boy your are interested in looks you up on facebook. Of course FB is an awesome place to stalk people.
  • Person 2 – Was a project manager type professional who would go for dates and then plot the varying success criteria on a graph.
  • Person 3 – Was in her 50s and lived in a small village. She had been through just about every guy there and would go to the pub wearing tights and hot pants… i mean gosh imagine trying to stuff 80kg of marshmallow into a pair of tights  – each marshmellow moving in different directions as she walked…
  • Person 4 – actually was almost certifiable. She had read a couple of self help books, and set herself a 6 month project to find a man. She was on 5 dates a week, and tried speed dating at the local Asda! She in the end decided on a man, did up her appartment on valentines day and invited him over. The poor fella, he was nice, he was honest, he liked to socialise but wasnt looking for a relationship, she almost broke down as he said this. She only wanted the one true love and if he couldnt declare his love for her she wasnt interested (bear in mind they had only been on one date months before)
  • Person 5 – was going to a dating site golddiggers.com – which was basically all about pretty young girls hooking up with rich men – the guys got their attention and the girls lots of pressies. I really didnt like the whole idea of this, and am fairly conflicted on it – i mean on the one side its really honest – they all get what they want, but on the other hand i really have a problem with people who are materialistic to such a large extent.

… The whole thing was shocking, it seems like people are too busy with life to stop and appreciate each other, and it seems like the net is impairing young kids ability to interact.  Sometimes i wonder if the net is a good thing or not – i mean its great for bringing people from all over the world together – but at what cost.

Why do i like submarine films?


I was asked last week why I like submarine films, Which really did make me stop and think about who I am. I love chaos and disaster, because people run around not knowing what to do and in those moments they tend to be easier to work with – they will listen and perform as directed. I don’t think I am a dominant person in my personal life; In work I respect people and ways of doing things, listen to anyone with new ideas, and even admit when I am wrong. Maybe I have said this before!

A submarine crew is highly trained and organized just like the minions of Sun Tsu. It follows orders, and processes obediently, and reacts well in times of conflict. It is a group of individuals that act as a machine – it is a family, that lives and dies together. I could never be a sub mariner as bring locked in a tin can with a bunch of blokes for 6 months isn’t me – but there are many aspects to a sub mariners life I do appreciate. Maybe the reason I moved to brazil before is on the flag – order and progress.

It’s no chaos I aspire to it’s progress, structure, organization. The reason I soo comfortable with chaos is that it’s an easy starting point to achieve that goal. A lot easier than of a strong willed group of people has a solidly defined set of processes that build in the wrong direction.

I watched crimson tide the other day and couldn’t help but parallel. It to life in a big company – the rules followed and define by the captain (Gene Hackman) vs a guy who questioned a process and a way of working that clearly wasn’t in the best interests of the company/sub.

Sun Tsu – the art of war and people management…

I was just sitting in the bath reading the Art of War – by Sun Tsu – and although i dont necessarily agree with everything he says sometimes after a hard day at the office i find myself wanting to apply some of his ideas to management. The introduction says a lot about the man – and reads as follows:

Sun Tzu Wu was a native of the Ch’i State. His ART OF WAR brought him to the notice of Ho Lu, King of Wu. Ho Lu said to him: “I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?”

Sun Tzu replied: “You may.”

Ho Lu asked: “May the test be applied to women?”

The answer was again in the affirmative, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King’s favorite concubines at the head of each. He then bade them all take spears in their hands, and addressed them thus: “I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?”

The girls replied: Yes.

Sun Tzu went on: “When I say “Eyes front,” you must look straight ahead. When I say “Left turn,” you must face towards your left hand. When I say “Right turn,” you must face towards your right hand. When I say “About turn,” you must face right round towards your back.”

Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill. Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order “Right turn.” But the girls only burst out laughing. Sun Tzu said: “If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame.”

So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order “Left turn,” whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu: “If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers.”

So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded. Now the king of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he was greatly alarmed and hurriedly sent down the following message: “We are now quite satisfied as to our general’s ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded.”

Sun Tzu replied: “Having once received His Majesty’s commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept.”

Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the pair next in order as leaders in their place. When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound. Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: “Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty’s inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey.”

But the King replied: “Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops.”

Thereupon Sun Tzu said: “The King is only fond of words, and cannot translate them into deeds.”

After that, Ho Lu saw that Sun Tzu was one who knew how to handle an army, and finally appointed him general. In the west, he defeated the Ch’u State and forced his way into Ying, the capital; to the north he put fear into the States of Ch’i and Chin, and spread his fame abroad amongst the feudal princes. And Sun Tzu shared in the might of the King.

…i think its an awesome introduction, and was an awesome lesson to the king. Whist its tempting to be soft in managing people in a military organisation discipline is soo important. In military terms you have to love him.

The devil or the devils advocate?

Owen Richardson - Angel or Demon?

Ok, I admit on one or two occasions, ive been called the devil, and the other person has meant it. These have always been religious types, who welcome discussion about their god, and their way of doing things, but when you get down to it they only have really seemed to have wanted a one way preaching session. I don’t try to be offensive, or rub people the wrong way, but i am fairly articulate, am not afraid to argue my point, or anyone elses. Many times i find myself arguing for something i don’t either believe in or agree with, just to see another persons perspective. To me that kind of discussion is a great way to learn things, to look at things from standpoints you may not have previously considered. is that wrong of me? I dont like offending other people by suggesting stuff that causes offense.
I do respect other peoples opinions even if i dont agree with them, everyone reaches these opinions in different ways.
I do tend to have a black and white decision process, even though i do see shades of gray. I just happen to think that the gray area is where most people dither and in a meeting based culture like sweden, and other places ive been too, experience has taught me that sometimes making the wrong decision is better than making no decision at all. Again, even with this approach i do listen to everything i can and then attempt to make an intellegent decision.
I try to be honest and truthful but i do tend to wield honesty a little like a weapon someones. Im passionate about work, and about life, and when it comes to my ability can come across as arrogant sometimes – which i hate because im not. I don’t tend to advertise the things i am bad of, or think about them, because to me expecting something to fail is a sure way of making it happen. When you couple that with the fact i like to make decisions in black and white its easy to see how a person could think that.When i was living in the UK once i got blacklisted by a very popular door to door religious group whose name i wont mention right now for the fear that saying it 3 times will make them turn up.A guy turned up on my doorstep on xmas day with his entire family and asked if i believe in god, and to be honest i was shocked. So i said, of course i do, i am god…. The ensuing conversation (and i made them all tea) basically would have been impossible for him to win. My arguement was that if god is the person who creates all things, and controls the universe, then i must be god, because only i decided wether to open or close the door to him. He couldnt prove I wasnt god, without actually producing the real god to testify, so he was sunk at that point – beyond just denying i was god he didnt have much to say. So i asked him, if he met god how would he know? At one point he argued if i was god i should perform a miracle, and gods last arguement to man came to my mind – from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy –

GOD: I refuse to prove that i exist, because without faith i am nothing.

MAN: Ahh, but the Babel Fish is a dead giveaway isn’t it? it proves that you exist and therefore you do not.

Ahh, says god – i hadnt thought of that… and promptly dissapears in a puff of logic.

Im not getting a sainthood any time soon. i didnt have to win that arguement – and i didnt mean to get into it in the first place, it was a kneejerk reaction to a family turning up on xmas day. It just snowballed once it started, and i do so enjoy a good discussion. Its worth mentioning at this point i do have an imagination, and slightly evil sense of humour.

Im sure one day if i work hard enough, i will go to hell; that underground place that has central heating, sex, and rock and roll… or am i describing heaven? its soo hard to tell these days.

Racism – Who is racist Black or White?

Ok I feel I have to start this post by stating im not racist. Black or white makes no difference to me, I do have a few black friends but in truth not many; thats nothing to do with my perception of black people its more because I don’t meet many black people here.

To my mind a racist person isn’t a person that judges someone on the colour of their skin – we all judge things depending on our experience – racism to me is persecuting someone solely on the colour of their skin. Although that would seem to be a simple no brainer of a description I see racism being defined in many different ways around me. I dont know anyone who has ever been called racist for saying “black men have big dicks” although technically speaking it is making an assumption based solely on skin colour..

In my opinion slavery is wrong, and the whole perception of black people as second class citizens is wrong, i dont see theres anything to debate there. but then i do think the police in the UK have been fairly harshly accused of racism in the past. Theres a delicate balance to be had there. I think that black people have had a harsh time of things, but in some cases i cant help but wonder if the racism card has been played a little too much – i mean with the police, it makes sense that they apply simple math to policing because they cant stop every car or check every person. If 30% of all crimes were committed by black people, then doesnt it stand to reason that 30% of the people that are stopped by police should also be black (i made that number up). Its not persecution!

I cant help but think though that society has made a mistake to a degree.. Theres so much focus on being politically correct that the way issues such as racism is handled is a joke. Some companies I’ve seen actively seek to make a percentage of their workforce black, or actively seek a certain percentage of female employees. That to me is racist – the decision to employ someone shouldnt be based on the colour of someones skin yet it seems ok to do that if its an advantage to black people. Employment should be solely based on a persons ability to do a job.

Im worried about offending anyone here because i dont really want to – but it appears to me that in the modern society there is as much racism coming from black people as there is coming from white people.

The same thing could be applied to terrorists and muslims. Police need to profile criminals, and i hate that this means people are sometimes more likely to be policed. Its a sad reflection on society that policing is a necessity and i think that any terrorists or black criminals, you should stop and think about what your contribution to society is doing for how people perceive race/religion or any other stereotype.

Blacks are equal and should be treated with equal respect. Race is not important… and if i have offended anyone with this post let me know because in truth it will mean i just didn’t get my thoughts across properly.

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